Bring Positive to a Negative

Have you ever had a moment when you are lost in your own frustration and fuming and something jumps right in front of you to change your course?

Last night I had an argument with a good friend. There was no yelling or harsh words but at the end I had some real hurt feelings. I have replayed the moment in my mind at different points in the day. I keep coming back to wanting to prove I was right, say how much I have been hurt, etc.

Tonight, my thoughts were stopped in their tracks. I read Day 5 in Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates. It said "Whenever we find ourselves ensnared in negative behavior, we should increase the amount of time, thought and energy we direct toward positive behavior." Of course. What good does it do anyone to brood and be angry?

I'm ending my day with a lighter feeling. A feeling felt when you are able to let go and move on. I choose to focus on all the positive that surrounds me. I am grateful.

Meditations from the Mat

I am great at making New Year's resolutions!!! Making them last all year is a different story. As I think about 2016, I decided to go back to my bookshelf to embrace an old friend. This year will require five minutes of reading a day. Simple. Doable. A lasting impact is guaranteed!

The book I pulled out is called Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates. The 365 lessons are "daily reflections on the path of yoga."

As it is now January 3rd, I have read three lessons. Lesson 1started my year with a clear vision. Rolf is commenting on the violence of the twentieth century and the need for a change. He says "We need a new paradigm, one that will replace our present attachment to imbalance. Yoga is the study of balance, and balance is the aim of all living creatures; it is our home." Our home is what is already within us. It may be hidden below trauma, relationships, obligations, habits and more. I will spend the year going home. I hope you enjoy the journey.

Life in Recovery

I've gained so many insights while in recovery from major back surgery.  Lessons about patience and acceptance abound.  Years of a high-intensity lifestyle brought to a screeching but necessary halt.  Wearing a brace for 3 months felt like a form of prison ... bars around my freedom.  Yet, in the grand scheme of things, the restriction was short-lived and required of me should I wish to return to a robust life of activity.  Perspective gained, I became grateful.  Thankful.  Full of joy and cheer for the chance to get up and get going again. 

Life Lessons by Admiral William H. McRaven

Start each day with a task completed.

Find someone to help you through life.

Respect everyone.

Know that life is not fair and that you will fail often, but if take you take some risks, step up when the times are toughest, face down the bullies, lift up the downtrodden and never, ever give up—if you do these things, then next generation and the generations that follow will live in a world far better than the one we have today and—what started here will indeed have changed the world—for the better.

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2014/05/22/10_lessons_to_help_change_the_world.html

That Wasn't Part of My Plan

“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell

I am an active person.  I like to run, bike and swim.  I teach aerobics.  I'm a yoga instructor. 

I also have had issues with my back for 26 years.  Over the past year and a half, I have been dealing with pain and weakness in my right leg.  It's at a point now where I most likely will have back surgery.  

So what does this mean for my active lifestyle?  I no longer run.  I do not teach aerobics.  Two weeks ago I had to give up my yoga class at the YMCA.  I have taught classes at the Y for 18 years.  This is not what I had planned. 

As I reflect on the life waiting for me, I see a new path.  I am able to ride. I love the open road.  The fresh air is invigorating.  I can't describe the beauty of riding on a country road, surrounded by corn fields with the sun on the horizon. With cycling, I have formed new friendships.  We have open, honest conversations as we work and sweat! I have a new appreciation for the freedom on a bike.

How often do we have our life planned out and something jumps in the way to change the course we are on? Accept the challenge to let go.  While we don't know what the future holds, it is all before us.  Go explore.

What is Happiness?

I was recently reading an article in Fast Company's magazine called "5 Profound Insights on Success from a Wharton Prof Devoted to Understanding It."  The author described how to find happiness by choosing the profession that fits you best.  It was in the article I found an inspirational quote. 

It said, “Happiness is just three things: good health, meaningful work, and love.”

What is happiness to you?

http://www.fastcompany.com/3016575/dialed/5-profound-insights-on-success-from-a-wharton-prof-devoted-to-understanding-it

Top 10 Words of Wisdom from Gandhi

1. Be the change.

2. What you think you become.

3. Where there is love there is life.

4. Learn as if you’ll live forever.

5. Your health is your real wealth.

6. Have a sense of humour.

7. Your life is your message.

8. Action expresses priorities.

9. Our greatness is being able to remake ourselves.

10. Find yourself in the service of others.

What would the world be like if we followed even half of these principles?

Wants and Needs

We all have things we need and things we want. Working out...need. Junk food... want. I was staying at a hotel last week and there was a vending machine selling Butterfingers and Hostess cupcakes in the workout room. How often are we faced with the choice of what we know would be best for us though it takes some serious effort versus what would give us immediate satisfaction. The next time you're making a decision to do something, ask yourself if it is a want or need. Taking that extra moment to think and breathe will allow for some perspective. 

A Good Life

A friend posted this saying on their Facebook page.  

"A good life is when you assume nothing, do more, need less, smile often, dream big, laugh a lot, and realize how blessed you are."

Pick one to try today.

Advice from a Six Year Old, Part 2

My six year old and I were riding in the car.  Here's the conversation we had.

Trevor: Mom, what people do you like?
Me: I guess I like nice people.  Who do you like?
Trevor:  I like all people in the world.

A sign of a kind, pure heart.  What if all people in the world had this view?

The Rules of Bike Riding

I was running with my six year old last week while he rode his bike.  He thought it would be important to make some rules for riding his bike with me.  Here are the rules he brainstormed.

*Always look forward.  If you look back too long, you'll crash.
*Wait for others even if they're slower.
*Stay on your side so you can give everyone space.
*Try your hardest when you get to a hill.  It's ok if you have to walk your bike.
*Try not to get wet.  If you get wet, it's ok.

I was thinking about these rules of the road.  What if we used these rules as a personal guide.  I was thinking about a mistake I made at work last week.  I didn't want to get wet, make a mistake.  I did and really it is ok.  Sometimes I think my six year old is wise beyond his years.

Most Important Virtues

I have a student teacher this year.  As a beginning of the year bonding activity with her university, we had a stack of cards with one virtue written on each.  We sorted out each virtue into three piles: most important, somewhat important, and not important. In the end we had to choose 4 cards that represented our most important virtues.  

feedback

power

leisure

comfort

service to others

variety

simplicity

change

safety

clear expectations

problem solving

arts

routine

wisdom

sincerity

punctuality

challenge

independence

health

self-improvement

How do you prioritize and put one over another?

Wiped Out

Wouldn't it be great to crash when you're really tired?  The freedom of youth.  These are my boys after their third day back at school.  I'm not a napper but there is something to be said for that quick 20 minute nap.  Maybe today is your day!

Vulnerability

I started back at school this week.  We have a new principal after having had the same one for 20 years.  Our new principal has a hard job to do.  He is following in the footsteps of a great leader.

On our first day together, he showed us a video about being vulnerable.  As I watched, connections to my own life and those around me came flooding in.  I was moved at the thought that our success lies in the ability to be vulnerable.  Our principal was showing us how to succeed as a staff.  But what about in our home life?  Our marriage?  With our friends?  It is a question I continue to ponder.  Enjoy the video.  Please ruminate on the idea and share your thoughts.

Look Left

Have you ever been given advice and you realize it fits in every area of your life?  I went to my physical therapist last week for my back.  I mentioned I'm having a lot of pain on the right side of my neck.  She worked on it, gave me some exercises to do but ended the session with a question.  She asked how I hold my head when I'm riding my bike.  I had no idea how to answer the question because I didn't know.  She told me to pay attention on the next ride.  Easy enough.

It has been a week and I realized I look right all the time.  When I run, I look right.  When I bike, I look right.  When I shop, I look right.  When I teach yoga, I look right.  When I talk on the phone, I hold it under my right ear as I do other things.  I couldn't believe it when I started to pay attention.

The simple solution would be to just start looking left.  It isn't as easy as it sounds.  Not only do I have to change where I look but I have to be aware of everything that leads up to looking right...where I sit, stand, run, etc.  It is uncomfortable to look left.  I don't like it but I know it will make the pain in my neck get better.

This brings me to the idea of change.  Life is full of habits.  Each day we go through our routines without even thinking.  We pick the same spot to stand in an aerobics class.  We have the same breakfast every morning.  It can feel uncomfortable to make changes to our routines.

Why is that?  Why do we get into a groove and stick with a routine?  What if it is hurting us?  I think about my neck and how now that I'm thinking about it and am looking the other way, it is refreshing.  I've started to notice what's on the other side of the street.  I'm starting to enjoy the change though I have to stay vigilant.  The old habits are lurking in the background.

And here is the work, the homework we'll say.  Think about what you do each day and find that moment when instead of looking right you can look left.

A Summer of Learning

I went on a great ride today.  The course was hilly at points but I was able to stick with the group.  It was at one point on a particularly difficult hill that I started to reflect on my many rides with Balance Cycling Team.  I'm brought back to last year's rides.  The season started out cold and wet.  My workout routines were less than thrilling.  I would either shorten each workout or wouldn't even start if the weather was less than favorable.  Consequently, I had some hard rides in May.

It was a beautiful day towards the end of May when I ended up joining a ride that was supposed to be right for my riding ability.  Soon after starting the ride I was clearly out of my league.  The pace was fast and I wasn't in shape to keep with the group.  While I wasn't dropped, I certainly could have been had the other riders decided to stop helping me along.  Part of the 60 mile ride included some rolling hills that felt like mountains.  Our club president, Ryan, rode next to me through the hills and coached me on my form.  He offered helpful feedback (while I felt like I was going to die) and stuck with me while Dan let me draft him, hill after hill.  He told me to put my hands on the top of my handlebars, look up, open my chest and breath, tilt my hips,  ride to the next sign and then the next and then the next.

A few weeks later I was on a ride with Carlos.  He watched me working to get up a hill and he offered another piece of advice- speed up your cadence.

On another ride I found myself headed to Woodbury.  We had just climbed a fairly steep, long hill and Damon rode along side me.  He told me to tighten my core to help me climb.

My final piece of advice for the season came from John.  He told me that when he goes up a hill, he imagines working his legs in a complete circle,  360 degrees.

It might sound like all I heard last summer was advice but that isn't true.  On every ride I was handed a piece of gold.  It was with every critique that I grew as a rider.  I could stay in a group ride and enjoy the hills by the end of the season.

So I want to say thank you to everyone at Balance for the support.  I enjoy the conversations, the exercise, and working together as a team.  I'm proud to be part of a wonderful group of riders!

Hit by a Mack Truck

Have you ever been hit by a Mack truck (figuratively), survived and been in a better place afterward?  In January, I started having problems with my back.  What I should really say is I started having new problems with my back.  I have had a bad back since high school but was now experiencing pain down my leg and all the way into my toe that had become numb.  As the year went on, it only got worse.  At the end of the day of teaching sometimes I would lay on the floor because I was in such pain.  I had a pinched sciatic nerve and it was so painful at times I couldn't think.

I had an MRI at the end of February and was seeing a neurologist in April.  When I went to see Dr. Timming, he was amazing!  He listened to my whole life story of my back.  At the end he sent me to physical therapy with the future possibility of shots or back surgery.  I could  handle that part.  It was when he said "No running or swimming" that I sat up and took notice.  In my mind I thought "yeah right."  My body was saying "no, he's serious." So I stopped.  This meant the three triathlons I was signed up for were not an option.  It would be the first summer in a while that I wasn't training.

At first I went nuts.  I was CRABBY.  I needed to move but was still in so much pain.  I went to my therapist but he didn't seem to understand the problem behind my back pain.  After five sessions he told me I may want to consider shots in my back to help with the pain.

Needless to say I didn't go back.  I was fortunate enough to have a parent in my class who is a physical therapist herself.  She started giving me advice about my back and I switched over to her care.  Thanks to Betsy, I now am on the road to recovery.  It is slow but rewarding.

So what have I learned?  How am I in a better place?  I feel like I have been put on a forced vacation and have really come to like it.  I don't feel crazy if I don't get to workout.  I don't have the stress of getting ready for a race.  My body isn't tired all the time from training.

I have also learned to let what's meant to happen, happen.  I could have done a few things differently to help my back but really it was unavoidable.  Things have been happening in a larger plan and I have to learn from the events around me.  Will I race again someday?  Maybe.  Will I lose myself to a goal I'm trying to achieve?  I hope not.  For now I'll keep strengthening my core, spend time with my kids, hang out with friends, sew, run (yes, Betsy has me running again, yeah!) and ride when I can. I'll let myself have fun instead of feeling pressure every moment.

A Manifesto

I was reading Inc. magazine and they were featuring a company called Holtsee (http://shop.holstee.com/pages/about).  The article mainly focused on their manifesto and there were a few statements that grabbed me.

*Start doing things you love

*If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV (very true)

*Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them. So go out and start creating. Live your dream and share your passion.

I found this manifesto inspirational.  I hope you will, too.

My New Baby

We have a new addition to our family!  No, it's not a new baby or a cute little pet.  It's a Consew 206RB-5!  Up until about a month ago, I wouldn't have known what that was.  Well, I purchased a new-to-me industrial sewing machine.  It has been long journey from June 29th when I picked it up until now but I can't tell you how much I love my machine.  Clearly enough to be writing on a Saturday night.

Let's travel back to June 29th.  I found a machine for sale on Craigslist, contacted the seller and went to look at the machine that very night.  My husband, two children and myself went to look at the machine, probably buy it and haul it home.  When I sat down at the machine, I really didn't know what I was doing.  The owner was encouraging and assured me it would get easier with practice.  So we went to load up the machine in our FJ Cruiser.  I should quickly describe the machine.  It has a 75lb, I assume, cast iron head (the working part of the machine,) a table it is mounted on and a large clutch motor below the table.  Pretty major! Now, as we were loading the machine we had to tip the table and the head fell off.  I nearly died.  We thought it was heavy duty and were sure it weathered the collision.

I got the machine home and realized I left the oil with the previous owner.  This machine is oiled every 8 hours and there are at least 21 spots to oil!  Without oil, there was no sewing and this was the Fourth of July weekend.  On Tuesday, July 5th, I headed to T.J. Elias, my sewing machine extroidenaires.
I bought oil and headed home to my baby.  After oiling the machine, I tried it.  The needle wouldn't go up and down easily.  The wheel on the end where it dropped was sticking.  Uh-Oh!  Without going into every detail of my machine's repair, after bringing it in 2 more times, spending about $200 in repairs and thread, I have the machine working.  It is a dream.  I am creating bags out of vinyl and they are fun!  As you can see in the photos, they are not just your ordinary bag.  The adventure of buying a new machine has taught me patience.  The end result is well worth it!

Finally!

I  was getting ready to sew last night and turned off the t.v.  Usually I have it on or I listen to a book on tape or some music.  I felt like I needed some quiet to relax and clear my mind.  It was once the room was silent that I noticed it.  Spring!  

I live on a pond teaming with wildlife.  Spring brings back the Canada Goose flocks and croaking frogs from the bottom of the pond.  Mallards, Egrets, and a Blue Heron gather near the edge of the water.  The warm air blows in my windows.  I am reminded of the peace and tranquility spring can bring.  So I had to stop, close my eyes, listen, and breath. Nature's movement brings stillness.  Peace.